Nastiest customer emails

I wonder if the lawer excuse holds up at EB.

 

This is our best one so far. Keep in mind that this one was sent less than five minutes after the customer placed his order - at 9pm on a Saturday night no less!

In all fairness, this customer did apologize to us the next day...

 

While not really an awful customer email, I just got a big all-caps post complaining about how terrible my customer service was because she'd paid (bmt micro) and never received her code within a month. To which I had to politely point out that if she'd told us SOONER we could have helped her FASTER. (I assume it was accidentally spam-filtered or something.)

 

This thread reminds me of this site: Acts of Gord. Some quick examples here and here.

Always amazes me how people are so quick to threaten legal action. That's their first thought when something doesn't go quite right. *sigh*

 

The trouble is that so many companies are so shitty at dealing with customers they think that threatening legal action is the only way that they will get someone to listen to them. They've been so abused they don't even bother trying the nice way first.

 

I got this impatient customer:

19:31 -> I NEVER GOT THE FULL GAME PASS WORD
19:35 -> I NEVER GOT AN EMAIL FOR THE GAME
21:30 -> I NEVER GOT EMAIL OR MY GAME xxx@yyy
21:45 -> I NEVER GOT MY GAME I PADED FOR xxx@yyy
22:32 -> I WILL CALL MY CARD AND TAKE THIS OFF WHY DO YOU CALL THIS CUSTOMER SUPPORT THIS SHOULD BE CALLED NO SUPPORT xxx@yyy

(finally arrived at home and answered him/her with the info, he never replied back)

 

Its like one of those tech support calls i used to have at my old ISP-helpdesk work.

The conversation lasted 45 minutes, where the first 44 mins she constantly shouted, sweard, threatened, and used almost every nasty word/phrase in the both known and unknown vocabulary.

It ended like this:

"Miss, would you like me to help me help you or not? just check if your modem has lights and that its connected to the power supply"

"I'M NOT YOUR MISS!! IS THAT HOW YOU CALL YOUR CUSTOMERS???"

"Your modem, is it connected to a power supply... check it..."

*silence for a few seconds*

"MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! THE INTERNET IS BACK *hung-up*"

 

Not an e-mail, but a phone call:

<Me> Hello Tech Support
<Customer> I've installed your game now my PC won't work
<Me> Ok, what did you do?
<Customer> Nothing.
<Me> Ok, what happened?
<Customer> I put the CD in and installed it, but it stopped half way.
<Me> Then what?
<Customer> My computer stopped working.
<Me> Did you get any error messages?
<Customer> No.
<Me> Ok... [getting puzzled now]... have you restarted your computer?
<Customer> I told you it doesn't work any more.
<Me> Your computer won't even start up?
<Customer> No.
<Me> You don't get anything on screen at all? The power isn't even coming on?
<Customer> No. What are you going to do about it? You've broken my computer.
<Me> [biting own tongue at this point]... Ok, After it stopped installing, what happened next?
<Customer> I left it for ages then turned the computer off.
<Me> Turned it off, or reset it?
<Customer> I didn't know what to do so I turned it off.
<Me> From the Start menu?
<Customer> No, that won't work any more either. I just pulled the plug out the wall.
<Me> [cue sound of penny dropping]... and now your computer won't turn back on?
<Customer> No. Are you going to pay for me a new computer?
<Me> [lengthy explanation about the dangers of power surges etc - I shan't bore you with it]
<Customer> Well I always switched it off like that before and it never broke so why would it break now? You're just trying to get out of it.
<Me> Our software didn't break your computer, its not our responsibility to replace it.
<Customer> Well I'll just have to see what my solicitor says about this.
<Me> Ok if that's what you want to do, but you'd be better off spending money getting your computer fixed.
<Customer> *click*.

The customer in question was a 14yr old girl from Merseyside. Oddly enough, never heard another word about it.


Nastiest e-mail I got was one that simply said "I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW" - didn't even say why. Fairly disappointed that it didn't have the "AAAAAAARGGHHHHH!!!" on the end.

 

I'm not aware of the exact circumstances, but I'd say the customer was right. Not very polite, perhaps, but when you buy something over the internet, it's not too much to expect instant delivery. Or at least a clear notice stating how long it will take if the delivery is not instantaneous.

 

I do two methods of ordering, one of which is fairly automatic, one of which requires me to actually set it up. The slower one is covered with warnings saying "There will be a slight delay" and "If you don't hear from me within 24 hours contact me" and such. The only people who complain about the slowness of that one always complain IMMEDIATELY after paying rather than a few hours later (since it could take several hours if I'm asleep at the time). They just don't read.

Of course, I know another company who offers downloadable versions that they set up manually and will only do it during office hours on weekdays on a Japanese timezone when they feel good and ready. Their forums get a LOT of 'WTF where is my download? It's been DAYS!' complaints... to the point where I had to go on a hunt to find people to verify that anyone had EVER received a download. Not the best impression to make.

 

This one is not nasty, but somewhat funny. It was an email that was forwarded over to us from customer support. It went something like this:

"Your product does not work. It will run fine for a while, but whenever we move the mouse or type something on the keyboard it will close. After a while if we leave the computer along it will come back, but will go away again if we move the mouse."

The product she was writing about was "Johnny Castaway" - a screen saver.

 

I know I *can* automate it. Don't ask me why I haven't bothered, I don't really have a good answer for that. Maybe I enjoy the occasional personal touch (and headache)

 

I don't complain, he was not nasty at all just impatient. The ordering is automated, but the email he used to order the game was not working.

 

heres one I got this morning funnily enough:

I am writing in regards to the XXX Game. This game is so full of bugs and typos it isn't funny. I am not going to continue trying my patience in trying to solve this problem on my end when the problem is clearly on your end. One needs only to read your forums to find that out. Most "legitimate" software companies thoroughly test their product for such bugs (of which this was not, I doubt). It seems to me this is more of an amateur operation and attempt at "creating" a game. And I use the term creating loosely. Therefore I am requesting a full refund of my purchase price. In the event you deny my request, I will have no choice but to dispute the purchase.

what a rude arrogant git. He isnt getting a refund.

 

He's just gonna do a chargeback, which will be worse...

Just refund him and send him a rude email too.

 

Another good reason not to have forums. Guys like that will start on your forum next putting people off buying.

He is rude and arrogant, maybe ask him to be more specific (have others noticed these problems?) if you feel happy that he is not happy then give him his refund, better than keeping him as a stress factor for who knows how many weeks into the future.

 

Sure the guy was rude, but there was obviously something up with the game that he didn't like. Fixing the 'problems' (however small) could make you some more sales.

I would send a sincere email saying something like:

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy XXX. Please accept a full refund.

To help me make the game better, would you mind giving me some details about the problems?

 

nope. out of thousands of sales he is the first arrogant one when it comes to that game. He hasnt told me about any problems or asked for advice. I see no reason to waste time bowing and scraping to someone with that attitude. If he does a chareback fine, but he will ahve to contact his credit card company. They are probably sick of hearing from him, you think this guy buys ANYTHING he doesnt complain about?

 

How is simply giving him the refund bowing and scraping? Put your ego in check and just handle the situation like a professional. You've already wasted more time/money than it would have taken to just do it and move on with your life.