To put the dream on hold
I've agonized over weather or not to make this post (as I turn the trivial into a marathon) --- for a while I couldn’t quite figure out what I was trying to do, but I finally admitted to myself that I just wanted somebody else to know that this current dream of mine to create indie games is now dead. That is, I’ve ceased all my independent development efforts for the indefinite future. It is a sad thing, but its not as I’ll explain in a sec.
I said ‘dead’ but titled this post ‘on hold’ – A little history explains my thinking: I wrote my first computer game in 1978, and never really stopped. I sold small quantities of three 8-bit games I had created in the early 80s. I submitted games to magazines such as Softside and Antic, but was never published. In the late 80s I did some multi-player games for a networked BBS. In the early 90s with the shareware scene, I tried again to make the game (system) I envisioned, but got sidetracked developing technology (successfully I’ll add), but not the games themselves.
Over a year ago I took the plunge again, taking all I had learned to make my most serious effort yet. I went through the stages of determining what I really wanted to do and why I wanted to do it, building what I thought would be a realistic plan and getting down to work on it in between working contract to pay the bills As you can see, between each of these efforts there has been a period of years. So I think… no, I know, that someday I’ll try yet again, but I cannot guess as to when that will be.
But please don’t shed a virtual tear for me. I’m giving it up because I was offered an opportunity I couldn’t refuse.
I was posting daily here until late summer, when the contract I working on (for a game that may not ship it now seems) shifted into crunch mode. Self-discipline required giving up all non-critical surfing and posting. That finished a couple months ago, and after a short break, I got back to work on my game project, though I didn’t get back to posting here.
So there I was minding my own business when a very successful local game developer called me up and said “Could you come to work for us and lead up our new effort to make games for the smaller consoles? (psp, ds, live arcade) You’ll have a team, a budget, lead the coding effort, and help manage and design the game. And you’ll get a piece of the action too.”
Well, obviously it didn’t happen exactly like that, but the result is the same; I’m going back into the industry full-time, and with this higher level of responsibility this time, I’d be kidding myself to think I could keep this effort going. Before as a contractor, I only needed to work 6 to 8 months to pay for a full year, allowing me to work full time on it when I wasn’t contracting, as well as when the contract was slow. Now, this new position will take all I've got and maybe a bit more.
I’ve met some really great people here on the forums, locally, and in person at the conferences (GDC, CGC, AGC). Many of you impress the heck out of me, and I still wish that I could travel this road some more right now.
And I guess that's the thing about life – I will pass on more things that I really would like to do than those things that I will manage to do.
Flame away if this is overly indulgent, commiserate if you know the feeling, educate if you see what I do not.
Last edited by Spaceman Spiff; 12-13-2005 at 11:03 PM.
-Spaceman Spiff
Making games for the 6-year old in all of us
Hey - good luck on the new venture. Each of us is different and it's hard to say whether or not we'd take an opportunity such as that. And the DS - that's just ripe for experimentation. Just because you're independent doesn't strictly mean innovation goes out the window.
Hopefully...
What are all these tears about Spaceman?
You have gone a way in the industry. You know for sure that good 80% of guys from here wouldn't ever finish their first games and get back to real world to make "the real" job in real industry. You know for sure that good 95% will produce something that wouldn't be interesting to anybody. That's just a statistics.
You've got a good proposal I hope appropriate to your abilities. So what the heck else do you need? Go and release your talents at this new direction.
Indie - not indie - what a BS! Make your job by the best possible way and it would be appreaciated by peoples around and by yourself at the end.
You are the Spaceman. Spacemen don't cry.
Good luck!!!
Great tagline for a gameYou are the Spaceman. Spacemen don't cry.
In space you cry and it mists up your screen and you float into the sun, and thats that.
What can I say. Congratulations! While most people who had worked in The Industry have nightmares about it, your situation ("You’ll have a team, a budget, lead the coding effort, and help manage and design the game. And you’ll get a piece of the action too.") sounds somewhat different. So good luck!
Not a tagline, that should be the entire intro, backstory and instructions of a game like Alien ShooterOriginally Posted by Ricardo C
Great tagline for a game
Gabriel Gambetta
Google Zürich - Formerly Mystery Studio
"In space, noone can hear you cry.."
Not tears, but a disappointment. I mean, I'm doing what I love to do, but there are a few differences:
* I'm working for someone else, not myself.
* I won't own any of the IP, nor put my name on the games. (just the credits)
* The game(s) are not mine to choose - I do have design input, but I'm not the lead designer, and the game(s) are "publisher compatible"
I guess most of all it's loading up my work to date; the code, the tools, the design and backstory documents, the placeholder assets, and realizing that I more or less am throwing all that effort away. I was telling myself "this time will be different", and of course it isn't. I'm getting old and more critical of myself for investing time in things that go nowhere/do nothing for me.
So true, but that sort of what was what I was counting on to make it different - 10 years in the industry and several hit titles had me thinking that I had the experience and resources to beat the odds. Instead it's just enabled me to tell when I would be in over my head.
The upside is that the job seems like my indie effors on steroids so far, but I'm not doing it just for myself and all my personal needs anymore and I'm beholden to the bottom line of a business. Practicality wins.
Of couse, it is written so in the Spaceman's code.You are the Spaceman. Spacemen don't cry.
-Spaceman Spiff
Making games for the 6-year old in all of us
Is worse when the game job requires your boss to agree in every pixel. Even when you know quite better than him where and how to put it* I'm working for someone else, not myself.
* I won't own any of the IP, nor put my name on the games. (just the credits)
* The game(s) are not mine to choose - I do have design input, but I'm not the lead designer, and the game(s) are "publisher compatible"
Still much more freedom that the average joe in game staffs, but i guess you were aiming for more... which I can understand, anyway.
F..k them all Spiff!
18 years ago I though that I will spend the summer on that software business and return back to my music after I will grab some money from it. Guitar, amplifiers, etc. you know.
Now... I'm still here. I own the company. But could you say if I own this business or it owns me?
So, again, independent or no - build the things around to help you feel independent - this is much more important than the words...
Even that.......... Gabriel (love you bud!) see that by correct way: ("You’ll have a team, a budget, lead the coding effort, and help manage and design the game. And you’ll get a piece of the action too.")
What else do you need? Uh?
Good luck! Just Good luck!!!... Seriously...
REM: I've included more than five smilies in the message. OK Stiff. Get one less if so.
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