Mystical Motion Needs Feedback Please

[Tozzy]

Hi,

I've been looking for a suitable forum to showcase my 1st song.

My song is called 'Mystical Motion'. I made it last year. It's 100% original and took me a great deal of time; about 1.5 months or something like that. It evolved from a tune inside my head which I then reproduced using my Yamaha PSR 340 Keyboard, and then applied finishing touches in 'Fruity Loops Music Sequencer' using WAV samples for the instruments which I ripped from my keyboard. Mystical Motion is intended for use in an indie game but, hasn't yet found a good home due to lack of demand for any music by certain companies.

Stream Or Download 'Mystical Motion' Sample Clip (Stream Or Download this first):

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/5/25/35832/Mystical%20Motion%20-%20Sample.mp3

Stream Or Download 'Mystical Motion' Full Length Track (Download this after):

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/5/25/35832/Mystical%20Motion%20-%20Full.mp3

Tips:

Based on a usual IE setup: To stream: left click the link and the file will open in an audio player. To download: right click the link, choose 'Save target as' and save to a desired folder on your HDD such as 'My Documents'. Then go to your folder and play it. The link is a direct link so there should be no problems. Sorry if this seems like I'm 'stating the obvious' but, I've had tonnes of trouble in the past where people don't understand how to download files :( so, it's just easier to explain beforehand.

The reason why I want you to download the song in the oder above is because it's a well known fact that people tend to lose interest during the intro if it doesn't grab them straight away. Then they will probably hit the stop button and not bother giving the rest of the song a chance :(.

On the other hand, hope you enjoy the song ;).

Please let me know what you think of my work and please don't hesitate to give me some constructive criticism if you have any because I'm still new to this.

Thanks :),

Tozzy

[dntoll]

Makes me think of old school platform games!

I think it rules! :D

[Tozzy]

Thanks dntoll.

Yea, it reminds me of that too. Maybe something on the old PSX or something. I would admit the instruments are kind of limited. I've been posting on several forums (lacking in feedback though but never mind ;)) because I wanted to know if it was good or not, acceptable and of a good standard. My self criticism:

Better quality and variety of instruments would be an improvement. Instruments tend to be recycled throughout the song. Sounds on the erm... megadrive/ genesis side in parts :p. Maybe tinny? Can't describe in exact words.

I think the intro could have more of an impact.

That's all I have really in the way of self criticism. Otherwise, if I don't mind saying myself, I think it's very good, especially the tune... very distinctive and unique. Not to sound bigheaded but it sounded really awesome through a loud hifi system with super woofer. You should all try it sometime :D. You won't regret it :p.

[JiriNovotny]

I like your song!

You could try to add a bass line, the current beat is a bit monotonous. Otherwise I think it's a clever song, you should make it longer with a clearer structure.

Good job.

[AnthemAudio]

Two elements I think that could make the track pop and shine. One, is a snare drum. I hear it SUPER faintly with the kick repetition, but it's ULTRA buried. If it came out on "1" and "3" your piece will start to rock back and forth. Then mix it up with some fills.

Lusher strings, and more analog at that if possible. Have a slow attack and a long decay. Use a high pass filter and leave mostly 1k to 10k since most of your instruments are sharing the frequencies below this. Any more and you'll get a damn murky mix. Just a shimmery echo that expands and reinforces your harmonies.

That's what I hear off of first few listens. The kick is repetitive but it could work, provided you have at least some variation here and there. Driving synth kicks can easily cause ear fatigue. We as listeners are drawn to rhythmic elements and the kick is a central figure in most popular music. Even when we have cool melodies and snazzy synth effects we always have the kick in the foreground even subconsciously.

Sorry, I always read into music more than most. It's kind of what I do. And it's much easier to point out flaws then heap praise, but I think you can benefit from some of my comments. First I would try playing around with a more prominent snare, play around with different snare samples and I believe the rest of this song will open up for you.

Tony

[Tozzy]

Thank you very much for your comments both of you.

AnthemAudio, I can't thank you enough for your extensive helpful advice. This is the criticism I required. I have taken on board what you have told me and I really appreciate it. Hopefully, one day, 'Mystical Motion' will be even better (if I ever get the time to improve it). I just need to play around with Fruity Loops a bit more and see what results I can achieve.

Thanks again; very good advice there :).

[DangerCode]

Nice tune. It reminds me of Metroid Prime.