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M12
11-04-2007, 05:11 PM
Hello everyone. I have recently completed these two games. I worked very hard on them, so I hope you can give them a go:

A Missing Memoir:

Trailer (low quality version):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wq6HlDwinxU

Game:
http://eltania.net/m12/assets/files/med_mm_game.zip

The Sight of Autumn (VERSION 2):

Trailer:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uqzHNyoTZbw

Game:
http://eltania.net/m12/assets/files/med_autumn_game.zip

Thanks so much

Musenik
11-04-2007, 07:17 PM
I'm sorry, M12. After viewing the videos, I wasn't compelled to play. The music, quoted dialog, and artwork, was too weak for me. I could see they were trying to express your artistic passion, but the parts need better quality. (in my opinion) The animation felt over done in A Missing Memoir. In The Sight of Autumn, the animation was too flat/linear... I'm not exactly sure how to describe it. Lastly, they didn't give enough sense of the game's plot.

Are you sure you need to credit the sources of your sound effects, in trailers?

I really like interactive narrative, and I wish I could give constructive advice about your game, but honestly the videos turned me off.

here's hoping I'm not your game's demographic,

mrkwang
11-04-2007, 08:03 PM
If you'd let people d/l FLASH file, you must include FLASH player to play it. Gamer don't have FLASH player usually, unless they are making something with that.

Or make it .exe file, to play without any other programs.

Maupin
11-04-2007, 08:13 PM
I downloaded A Missing Memoir, despite the uninspiring Youtube trailer.

Your game's interface is terrible. You really need to work on it. I didn't even see anything resembling a game, just arrows in the corner to advance the story. Except they didn't advance from scene to scene, only from sound effect to sound effect. Sometimes it seemed like my clicks on the forward arrow had no effect. I finally got to chapter 1 and saw it was more of the same. Click, nothing happens, click again, nothing happens, click click click, finally a new sound effect. Click, nothing happens, etc. I gave up.

I assume your game is an interactive story, but until you've reworked your interface, no one is going to give it a chance. It plays like it's broken.

DerR
11-04-2007, 11:45 PM
Downloaded the novel and clicked through the first chapter. First I have to say that I am probably not your target audience. When it comes to novels I prefer books or audio books because they don't force me to click an arrow to hear the next part.. it's rather unrelaxing to me.

My advice would be to get professional or at least better speakers. The pathetic voice of the nurse is depressing. She should be cheering up the patient instead of making him sad and feel pity for her. Then it would be nice to stop the current sound files if you go to the next part. Sometimes I read faster than the sound files played and I clicked but the new sound file overlaps with the old one which kind of destroys the athmosphere.

I can see that you worked very hard on the game and enjoyed doing so. If you work on the details it might be a compelling game for your target audience but you should work more on the graphics or get someone to do them for you. The proportions on the characters are not right and often the perspective of the things in the rooms are a completely different one than the room itself... it gives one an impression of looking at an Escher-light. Also I had to laugh when you played the same "Nurse enters the room"-Scene.. the one where she glares through the door from the side. It looks funny/cute but her pathetic voice doesn't fit.

Mikademus
11-05-2007, 12:42 AM
Watched the videos, and honestly, I couldn't motivate myself to trying the games after seeing them. The videos made me roll my eyes and the singing in the "Missing Memoir" trailer was directly painful. Now, you're obviously going for a manga style, but frankly, your artwork is na´ve and undeveloped, and screams "another westerner kid wants to draw manga". I'm saying this since you are making "visual novels", which by their very nature requires at least decent art.

jankoM
11-05-2007, 03:04 AM
hmm... I really don't see the art or animation at videos that bad as you all say.
videos don't tell me much about the story but I didn't actually run away screaming as some answers made me think I will.

AJ75
11-05-2007, 04:54 AM
I played through The Sight of Autumn and it looks fine. The story is ok and so is the music. It has a depressing vibe to it though, despite the seemingly uplifting ending.

ChrisP
11-05-2007, 09:02 PM
I hate to join in the negative chorus, but unfortunately I'm forced to agree with pretty much everything that people are saying in this thread. I'll try to be as constructive as possible.

The constant fade-to-white-and-back-again in trailer for The Sight of Autumn really started to grate on me after a while - it's OK when used sparingly, but when it happens once every 3 seconds it really gets old. Maybe tone that down a little bit? :) The trailer for A Missing Memoir was a bit better, but the quality of the music wasn't great (especially at the beginning); it seemed to grate a little.

Both suffer from a common set of additional problems:

- A lot of the text is unreadable because it doesn't contrast against its background. That's OK though, because most of the text didn't inspire me to play the game at all... :)

- Too drawn-out and not interesting enough. There's a very fine art to doing anime-style drawn-out contemplative tracking shots; the visual and narrative impact has to be just strong enough to balance out the potential boredom of seeing essentially the same image on your screen for, like, 15 seconds.

Noir gets this right; probably about 1/8 of the screen time of the entire series is spent on that flashback triggered by the tune from the watch, but it's OK because the plot and the characterisation makes you really really curious to see the entire flashback. Each episode you're granted a tiny little bit more of the flashback, and it keeps you watching.

The recent anime adaptation of Tales of Earthsea sadly gets this wrong. There's only so many minutes you can watch somebody standing in a field of wind-blown grass before you start wondering if it's time to leave the cinema yet.

- The graphics and sound, while borderline acceptable by my standards and certainly better than that of my own game, aren't quite what I'd expect from a visual novel.

I think you've got a promising start here; it just needs a fair amount of polish. Keep up the good work. :)