Analysis from an award winning designer?

[FreshlySqueezed]

Hey guys,

I've been in the commercial games industry for 6 years now, the last couple of years as a lead designer in casual games.

I've won a handful of awards in the casual games market, and average at about 8.5 to 9 out of 10 according to the critics in terms of quality.

Would anyone be interested in sending a build of their game to me, for which I'll write them up a report?

I wouldn't charge much, I just enjoy the work, to be honest. Something nominal for each page of information. Could be worth every penny to have professional eyes cast over your game.

Cunning and engaging level design is also something of a speciality. :)

I'd sign NDAs, of course, and everything I see and discuss would remain confidential.

Would anyone be interested, or is it a silly idea? :)

[FreshlySqueezed]

Oh, and writing is another speciality... I can tighten up n' liven up your dialogue/instructions etc.

Particularly useful for english 2nd language developers.

All for negligible fees, with a free trial, walk away and pay nothing. :)

[DanMarshall]

I will also play your game if you give me money, too.

[FreshlySqueezed]

I meant prototypes etc. :)

A small scale initial report, if it doesn't seem useful, no charge, if you like it, I can write a more in depth analysis and provide ongoing help.

[TimS]

Hey FreshlySqueezed.

Welcome to the indie world. You've made a handful of posts and nearly all of them have had some form of the phrase "lead designer in the commercial game industry" in them...

So I'll bite -- who are you and what did you work on?

-Tim

[FreshlySqueezed]

PMed.

Didn't want to come across as a big I am, just a bit of a newbie to the indie world. :)

Hey FreshlySqueezed.

Welcome to the indie world. You've made a handful of posts and nearly all of them have had some form of the phrase "lead designer in the commercial game industry" in them...

So I'll bite -- who are you and what did you work on?

-Tim

[TimS]

Didn't want to come across as a big I am, just a bit of a newbie to the indie world.

Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything -- it's just that a bit of context is useful, especially when you're offering design analysis services.

-Tim

[FreshlySqueezed]

Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything -- it's just that a bit of context is useful, especially when you're offering design analysis services.

-Tim
Yes, fair point.

I'll happily reveal my secret identity (not that anyone will have heard of me) to PMers.

Always a bit reluctant to leave the shelter of anonymity, that's all.

[RinkuHero]

I think it'd be reasonable, provided the charge were small like less than 10$ a page of feedback, and if you put up examples of your feedback for previous games for us to read, so we can get an idea of whether it'd just be filler or if it'd be useful.

If you're offering a free trial of your service, here (http://studioeres.com/forums/index.php?topic=77.0) is my playtesting thread.

[FreshlySqueezed]

I think it'd be reasonable, provided the charge were small like less than 10$ a page of feedback, and if you put up examples of your feedback for previous games for us to read, so we can get an idea of whether it'd just be filler or if it'd be useful.

If you're offering a free trial of your service, here (http://studioeres.com/forums/index.php?topic=77.0) is my playtesting thread.
Yes, that was around about the mark I was thinking of.

I genuinely believe I can make a difference. Sometimes people don't realise how useful a dedicated designer can be until they've worked with one.

I've had PMs from people who are interested depending on rates already, which is fantastic, and I've offered them a free service in the hope that they will be impressed and spread the word. I'm going to extend that offer to the next, say, five clients or so. I realise that even a few dollars may seem to have a considerably impact considering the budgets which indie developers are used to, and I would loathe to be in a position where hard up indies feel obliged to pay for information which they don't find useful, so I'd be happy to work for free if it will build confidence in the service.

I'm trying to work out a method of guaranteeing my work, so the client earns a refund if the added value isn't obvious, but that's in the pipeline.

[FreshlySqueezed]

I think it'd be reasonable, provided the charge were small like less than 10$ a page of feedback, and if you put up examples of your feedback for previous games for us to read, so we can get an idea of whether it'd just be filler or if it'd be useful.

If you're offering a free trial of your service, here (http://studioeres.com/forums/index.php?topic=77.0) is my playtesting thread.
Oh, and yes I'll offer you a free trial, no problem at all.

I'm working all day for a couple of other clients, but I'll try to fit you in later tonight or tomorrow (GMT).

[RinkuHero]

Thanks, looking forward to hearing what you think!

[FreshlySqueezed]

Glad to be of service sir.

One advantage is that it allows developers to gather professional feedback, without having to actually expose the game or the subsequent feedback which may attract larger companies who can throw money at a project and beat them to to the post.

[FreshlySqueezed]

Another advantage is that as a designer I make a living from creating new ideas and mechanics rather than imitating them, which may help to hold off the clone bashers for a while. ;)

[soniCron]

Could you, perhaps, make an analysis of an existing game and post it on here? This would give a good indication of the kind of level at which you'd perform.

[RinkuHero]

If it'll help, feel free to post your analysis of my game here as an example, I have no reason to keep it private.

[Nexic]

I'm an award winning designer, I got a Editors Choice award from SharewareSiteThatGives5StarRatingsToEveryone.com. Do I get money?

On a serious note, I'd very much like to see an example of your reviews.

[FreshlySqueezed]

I'm an award winning designer, I got a Editors Choice award from SharewareSiteThatGives5StarRatingsToEveryone.com. Do I get money?

On a serious note, I'd very much like to see an example of your reviews.
Cool, PMed.

[FreshlySqueezed]

If it'll help, feel free to post your analysis of my game here as an example, I have no reason to keep it private.
Fine by me.

[soniCron]

Cool, PMed. I asked first! I don't get one? :p

[FreshlySqueezed]

I asked first! I don't get one? :p
Oops, sorry, missed you. :)

PM on its way.

[soniCron]

If you sent Neil what you sent me, I think you misunderstood us. We were asking for an example analysis, not your credentials. ;)

[FreshlySqueezed]

Ah, OK, I thought by reviews he meant critic's reviews...

No problem, I've had a few people ask for a free trial, for those which grant permission I'll publish the results.

[TeeGee]

Hi Peter,

How's work on Fable 2 going? Do we get to have children this time?

[EDIT:] Ooops, didn't meant to reveal your identity. Sorry.

;)

And seriously - if you want to provide any services, then you definetely should show us your credentials (and some work examples). Especially as you are just starting your indie career. If you want to stay anonymous, don't start a business - anonymous business always seems shady.

In fact this whole "I'm a great designer, but I want to stay anonymous" thing makes you look kinda silly and provokes disbelief and posts like mine ;).

Ever wondered why all companies have "about us" sections on their websites? People like to know who they are dealing with. In fact, most corporate mails I get usually start with "Let me introduce myslef - I'm Joe Average CEO of Whatever co.". It's because people want to create a feeling that you are dealing with a person, not some vague internet entity.

It's not that I don't believe you, that you are a professional (as I don't have any reason too), but there's just so many kids/trolls/morons over the web, that people are extra cautious. Especially when it comes to money.

[FreshlySqueezed]

I'll be more open when I can.

The problem is that I work full time for a fair sized publisher, and I'm not sure how they'd feel about me offering out my services yet.

It's really as simple as that. Nothing shady, no hubris, I just don't want to broadcast anything until I know I won't annoy my employers. :)

[ZuluBoy]

Would anyone be interested in sending a build of their game to me, for which I'll write them up a report?

I wouldn't charge much, I just enjoy the work, to be honest. Something nominal for each page of information. Could be worth every penny to have professional eyes cast over your game.

Ok, let me try...
How much will it cost to to review my game PlayDetective:Heartbreakers (http://www.playdetective.com)?
Here is the download link: http://www.playdetective.com/links/demo_windows.php.

[FreshlySqueezed]

Ok, let me try...
How much will it cost to to review my game PlayDetective:Heartbreakers (http://www.playdetective.com)?
Here is the download link: http://www.playdetective.com/links/demo_windows.php.
It'll cost you nothing for a free trial. :)

If you feel the trial was worthwhile perhaps we can talk about digging deeper.

To be honest I've been quite overwhelmed by the interest (in spite of the understandable sniggers and suspicions ;) ), so it may take a few days to get through the backlog, but I'll be sure to keep you posted.

[ZuluBoy]

It'll cost you nothing for a free trial. :)

If you feel the trial was worthwhile perhaps we can talk about digging deeper.
Ok, it sounds good to me.:)

[FreshlySqueezed]

Fantastic. I'll get back to you as soon as I possibly can. :)

I must be a sucker for punishment... I've already got a full time job and a young daughter to entertain. :)

[ZuluBoy]

I must be a sucker for punishment... I've already got a full time job and a young daughter to entertain.
No problem, I am pretty much in the same situation (a full time job and a 1 year old daugther) so I understand the situation very well :D.

[FreshlySqueezed]

Then it will be a pleasure to help you out in any way I can. :)

[FreshlySqueezed]

Hi Peter,
And seriously - if you want to provide any services, then you definetely should show us your credentials (and some work examples). Especially as you are just starting your indie career. If you want to stay anonymous, don't start a business - anonymous business always seems shady.

Thanks for the PM. Hope I have allayed your fears somewhat.

Glad you enjoyed our game. ;)

[John Cutter]

Why the anonymity? I've been very open about my name and credentials (in multiple threads under this and another alias). So far I haven't noticed any negative repercussions...

Are you worried about seeming boastful? Worried about online stalkers? Is there something I didn't think about? (Guess it's too late now. Hehe.)

Just curious.

[FreshlySqueezed]

Why the anonymity? I've been very open about my name and credentials (in multiple threads under this and another alias). So far I haven't noticed any negative repercussions...

Are you worried about seeming boastful? Worried about online stalkers? Is there something I didn't think about? (Guess it's too late now. Hehe.)

Just curious.
No, honestly, it's just because I'm employed full time by a large publisher, and I'm not yet sure if it's going to annoy them that I'm working on the side.

[ZuluBoy]

I have asked for a free trial, and the guy sent me a long, very detailed and very constructive feedback about my game!
Actually this one of the best feedback I have ever got!!!

[FreshlySqueezed]

I have asked for a free trial, and the guy sent me a long, very detailed and very constructive feedback about my game!
Actually this one of the best feedback I have ever got!!!
Thanks for the feedback on the feedback, mate, it's been a pleasure.

I'll get started on that the further work you've requested as soon as I can.

[soniCron]

I have asked for a free trial, and the guy sent me a long, very detailed and very constructive feedback about my game!
Actually this one of the best feedback I have ever got!!!Would you care to post it here, or possibly PM it to me? Thanks! :)

[ZuluBoy]

Would you care to post it here, or possibly PM it to me? Thanks! :)
Sure, FreshlySqueezed will post it here :).

[FreshlySqueezed]

Would you care to post it here, or possibly PM it to me? Thanks! :)
No problem, that's PMed. :)

[spellcaster]

I'm interested as well. It would be great if you could PM it to me as well.

:)

[MFS]

Likewise.

I am interested so drop me a PM too =)

[FreshlySqueezed]

Both PMed.

Cheers for the interest. :)

[gearface]

I'd like to see the feedback as well.

Weren't you going to post it here? If not, just PM me.

Thanks,
- Jeremiah

[Sharpfish]

Same as above... always interested ;)

[FreshlySqueezed]

I asked ZuluBoy if he was sure he wanted me to publish it, and pointed out that he shouldn't do it if it was just as a favour, as he's gone on to ask for paid services.

He hasn't confirmed that, so I'm just keeping it to PMs to be safe.

[ZuluBoy]

I asked ZuluBoy if he was sure he wanted me to publish it, and pointed out that he shouldn't do it if it was just as a favour, as he's gone on to ask for paid services.

He hasn't confirmed that, so I'm just keeping it to PMs to be safe.
Go ahead, publish it here! :D

[FreshlySqueezed]

Thanks ZuluBoy!

I've had an utterly overwhelming response on this, and I'm afraid I won't be able to give any more free trial reports... they're taking up too much of my time, which is something I seem to have almost completely lost now so many people have been subsequently asking for paid work (which I hope you understand must take priority).

I will happily write similar reports for around $15-25 (the below report would weigh in at $10-15, for instance), depending on the amount of work required. (The vast pile of work which I've already pledged to do for free I will of course honour. :) ). Fees payable only AFTER you've read and are satisfied with the report or service. If you're not satisfied, there won't be a charge. It's win win. :)

In depth work such as full script doctoring and design work will be similarly priced in terms of volume.

Simply put, I'm offering quite a lot of bang for your buck, I have to say, so dig in! :)




Before we go on:

Please do not take any of these comments personally. Every game we
make is a learning experience, and the only true mistakes are the
repeated ones. All the points below are only my opinion and should be
taken as suggestions. I'd be glad to discuss any or all of it with
you. Please excuse the rough documenting style… this is an embryonic service, and I’m sure you value the content over the flair. Let me know if you mind me publishing this report on the forum or not. Thanks!


In summary:

There's a great game in there. Some of the ideas are inspired, and
there is a huge amount of potential. I think the detective genre is an
interesting one, and your take is definitely novel. There are a fair few negative points in the list below, but please don't take that as meaning that the experience was largely negative. I just think your time is better
spent fixing the problems rather than considering the good points (of
which there are many which I may not yet have covered).


General graphics:

- When I clicked the extremities of the screen to navigate, the white
square flashed momentarily in the middle of the screen.

- I would probably remove the white square, to be honest, as it
largely confuses the issue, and serves no clear purpose.

- The screen flashed between menu screens. It was subtle, but it felt
jarring and the menus would feel more polished if it were removed.

- The main screen doesn't quite fit the interface. The bottom right
corner is rounded, which looks fine, but the other three corners seem
incorrectly sized.

- The disparity between the textures felt harsh, particularly the
stretched textures when compared to the road.

- The 3D models felt awkward alongside the sprites.

- The palette between the interface and the main screen seemed very
similar, felt slightly at odds.

- The computer fonts and feel felt quite skewed toward the masculine
market, which seems a shame as I feel this game has a lot of appeal to
both genders on the whole.

- Consider using arrows rather than the indicating red squares.

- Overlaying the minigame menus over the front end screen felt very
confusing, especially with the main menu buttons in the background.

- You're going to hate this, but I think you may have over stretched
on the graphical front. Your interfaces on the whole are fine; neat
and well drawn, but your game engine, I'm afraid, still needs a lot of
work. I would personally consider capitalizing on your strengths
(everything apart from the game engine) and removing the game engine
for this version. Perhaps work on it and include it in a later deluxe
version. The game is strong enough without it, and feels weakened with
it. Consider replacing it with 2D 'scenes' which can be scoured for
evidence.

- The next buttons when appearing at the bottom of the screen appear
as if they were ghosted.


Text and dialogue:

- Consider a slightly more formal turn of phrase during descriptive
text, e.g. "Simon arrives at work." rather than "Simon gets to work."

- Tutorial text sometimes came across as dry, even preaching. For
instance, consider avoiding "as explained earlier", as the player may
feel foolish for forgetting.

- Consider gender neutralising the language. For instance, the use of
the term 'tools' is very masculine. For example, consider "firstly,
you can make a phone call" instead of "your first tool is the 'Phone
Call'".

- Consider using a more conversational tone during tutorials.
Tutorials will always be viewed as a chore, so consider making them as
friendly and fun as possible.

- Your dialogue and text isn't bad, but I will happily tighten up
every line of text in the game if you'd like me to.


Controls and game flow:

- Consider removing the tutorial system and including help messages
while the player becomes accustomed to the game.

- Navigating the game engine felt awkward. I got the impression that
scrolling isn't possible, but having to click points on the screen to
re-centre felt very cumbersome.

- I felt the red film camera was perhaps overkill as a recording
symbol. A flashing red dot has really become a universally understood
icon in my opinion.

- The tutorials can rapidly become confusing. If you follow the
instructions carefully, you're fine, but if you start clicking areas
when you're not supposed to, it quickly falls out of step. I was left
with no dialogue box and no idea what to do when I decided to
experiment. Consider disallowing the player from clicking anything but
the target they're supposed to click, and don't remove the dialogue
until they do.

- I love the cryptogram, polygraph and quiz, and think they fit really
well. Match 3 and Mix Up didn't feel so appropriate. Have you
considered including them in some kind of casino, so they're subtly
separated from the detective side of the game?

- Consider allowing the player to gamble their cash in the 'arcade'
mini games, for some much needed risk and reward.

- Consider taking the player through the detective mini games before
the 'arcade' mini games, as they feel much more coherent with the
game, and very satisfying, great selling points. I think they have the
potential to engross the player in the game, so it would be good to
expose the player to them as soon as possible.

- Felt odd that tutorials completed when clicking "NEXT".

- No completion message seemed to be displayed after completing the
three 'detective' style games.

- More forgetful players wouldn't remember which items to buy in the
shop during the shop tutorial.


The cryptogram minigame

- Excellent. Fits the game perfectly, feels like genuine detective
work, and was well executed.


The polygraph minigame

- Very fitting too, well implemented, although tutorial section kind
of drops off without letting you know what to do to advance.

- I wanted to click the buttons, but couldn't. Not a huge problem.
They look tempting.

- Small graphical glitch; squares appear around the truth/lie lights
when I clicked them.


The quiz minigame

- I enjoyed having to consider what I'd learnt.

- Fits the game well.

- It was clearly indicated that I was earning money for answering
questions, which was good.

- Consider allowing the player to click anywhere to move onto the next question.

- Consider reformating this to be a report, or similar, as a quiz
seems slightly awkward and unfitting.

- Otherwise a great idea. Again, I feel like my skills as a detective
are genuinely being tested.


The Match 3 minigame

- Consider increasing the time limit when the player matches three. I
found it a little too hard overall.

- On the third retry of the minigame the timer didn't count down and
the game didn't complete when I filled the play area. I alt-tabbed and
returned, and the game completed.

- Consider bringing the minigame into context more if possible, for
instance using detective based symbols.

- It wasn't at all obvious what I was actually taking part in the
minigames for, and there's a feeling of futility. Consider allowing
the player to bet a chosen amount before playing. The $150 seemed
small fry for 3 attempts after I'd been rewarded with $1,000 for
simply clicking a logo earlier.

- I retried the puzzle, and seemed to earn nothing for winning.

- The significance of the victory screen showing the couple on the
puzzle wasn't clear.


The Mix Up minigame

- Seemed extraordinarily time consuming and difficult compared to match 3.

- The tiny coloured squares surrounding the tiles were confusing. Did
they have any significance?

- The format of the help screen was completely different to Match 3.
Felt incoherent.

- I didn't seem to have any way to check the original image back.

- The image doesn't seem to have any coherence with the game.

- Consider a smaller set of tiles, a clearer image, and a refresher of
the image always present to make this easier.


Bugs and annoyances:

- Hitting cancel on name entry cited invalid entry. Was stuck until
entered a name.

- Entry field was a lot larger than character limit.

- Picked up money, bought a phone call, read Michael and Laura's
conversation, and became completely stuck as to what to do next.
Seemed like a bug.

[FreshlySqueezed]

Oh, forgot one important point, payment is only expected as and when you've read and are satisfied with the report or service package.

No satisfaction, no fee. If you don't like the service, you won't be charged.

[Sharpfish]

Thanks for the PM (though you've now copied it here anyway). :)

[Andy]

Pretty useful report Freshly. With lack of good game design in most of the games your service should do very well! I wish you good luck at least.

I have some recommendations to you too. ;)

1. "No satisfaction, no fee." - This is silly for your type of servise. Let we face the idea that your job is exactly aimed to not satisfy your clients. You should find and point weak parts in their jobs. Most of them should stay unsatisfied with the fact how bad they are. ;) So, I'd just recommend to exclude this after initial round of business appearense. 25 bucks isn't a money for useful recommendations from good professional.

2. Game Design is mostly should be FINISHED when game steps into such final stages. It should rule much earlier. So this is the part where I'd recommend to focus your service on earlier Desing Analyzis. This would be much more useful and in time. I'd like to here your prices for such type of service. So I'd appreciate if you wouldn't mind to PM me.

My two cents and
Good luck one more time!

[FreshlySqueezed]

Thanks for your advice, Andy.

I agree that including a satisfaction guarantee may be risky, but I'm confident enough that the indie community is pretty up front and honest about these things. If I lose out once or twice, so be it, better to trust and be betrayed than to never trust at all, I say. At the end of the day, I'm providing a fairly unusual service, and I want to inspire confidence.

Perhaps in future when I have a large base of clients who have appreciated the service, I'll drop the offer, but for now I'm going to see how it goes.

As for your second point, I whole heartedly agree. The last thing a developer needs is feature creep during the closing stages of the game. Certainly those at the prototyping stage would benefit greatly from the service, however I do bear in mind the stage of the project. For instance a lot of people have approached me with finished projects, and I treat them accordingly, assuming that re-developing large areas of the projects is out of the question. Smaller tweaks don't have to be ruled out, and for instance it 'costs' barely anything to replace the script with more exciting, or clear, or appropriate writing, and yet it can make a huge difference to tutorials and storylines, with little effrort.

Some people have appreciated me saying to them "Look, if you can absorb the time and resources, it would be worth remaking this section. If you can't stretch to that, just x y and z would be a good second best." For instance.

[Pkonst]

I have asked for report for our game - and I have got it in one day and it was great.
I can recommend this guy to anyone who needs an unbiased review of their game.

[Grey Alien]

So *why* are you doing some work on the side? Planning to quit I guess? If not maybe you could just clear it with your boss?

[FreshlySqueezed]

So *why* are you doing some work on the side? Planning to quit I guess? If not maybe you could just clear it with your boss?
I'm not sure yet. This design work is going very well at the moment, so who knows... I need to figure it out for myself first, until then I'm treading carefully.

[Popcorn Boy]

Thanks for the feedback on the feedback, mate, it's been a pleasure.

I'll get started on that the further work you've requested as soon as I can.


If anyone would like me to provide feedback on the feedback they receive on their game, I will be happy to do it for $5. :D

[FreshlySqueezed]

If anyone would like me to provide feedback on the feedback they receive on their game, I will be happy to do it for $5. :D
May I politely add that I am currently providing a feedback service on feedback feedback, at $4.

Please feed any requests back to the usual place.

[Andy]

If anyone would like me to provide feedback on the feedback they receive on their game, I will be happy to do it for $5. :D

Things go so bad at eGames? :D

[Popcorn Boy]

Things go so bad at eGames? :D

Actually, things are pretty good...but every little bit helps. ;)

[Borundin]

I got a great report from this guy. Can recommend his services to anyone here. Always good to have a second opinion.
What I appreciated the most is that youre not just given a list of things that need reworking but also suggestions on how to solve them!

[Artinum]

You provide an excellent service here, FreshlySqueezed - indeed, I've considered offering it myself in the past. For now I think I cope well enough with the proofreading and the reviewing!

Have you considered sending something along to Bytten? We have a section for game developer services there and something like this would be very welcome.

[FreshlySqueezed]

Have you considered sending something along to Bytten? We have a section for game developer services there and something like this would be very welcome.
To my shame, I haven't got a website together yet, so my service might look a bit odd appended to the bottom there without a website to link to.

Unfortunately I've never even dabbled in web development so it may be a while before I find the time to learn and get one together (I'd rather have none at all than an amateurish effort), but I'll definitely get in touch when I do, thanks!

[Artinum]

I too have little aptitude for web design. I can work basic HTML, so I can edit a page that's there, but between my lack of web design skills and my lack of graphical skills my original indieproofing site looked a rather hideous purple colour.

I am indebted to the kind people of this forum for directing me to an open source web template, which gives me my now professional-looking site. I believe the link was: http://www.oswd.org/

[FreshlySqueezed]

Excellent, thank you, I'll check that out later tonight.

Could be very handy indeed.

[FreshlySqueezed]

With this venture being as surprisingly successful as it has been, I wondered if anyone would like a full term designer on any given project?

It's becoming more and more apparant to me that indie games live and die as much on their design quality as they do the quality of their code and art.

There'd be no up front fee, I'd only ask for a small royalty on sales of the final product. My previous clients will attest that my charges are tiny and I really do this for the love. :)

I'd offer anything and everything which requires a designer's mind; brainstorming, concept development, design document writing, dialogue, instructions and in game text writing, design analysis, playtesting, balancing and so on, all on a long term basis, from the start to finish of the development cycle.

Drop me a PM if you'd like more information or have any interest at all.

Thanks!